Matthew McConaughey is living large these days in terms of critical acclaim. His HBO television series True Detective (which he co-produced with co-star Woody Harrelson), and films The Wolf of Wall Street and Dallas Buyers Club, are all getting rave reviews, something he says he wasn't necessarily shooting for but nevertheless has been the recipient of after deciding two years ago to forego romantic comedies and head in a more serious direction. He said he knew it would take some time to make the switch in his career, but as he was financially secure and prepared to wait it out, he really wasn't concerned.
As I watched the supreme confidence with which he carried himself in this Sunday morning TV interview, I couldn't help but wonder what it's like to be Matthew McConaughey. He's obviously a very hard-working guy, and is also very talented, so no one would begrudge him his success. But there was something else going on during this fifteen-minute segment that made me uncomfortable, and it's been hard to put my finger on it.
I'm wondering...am I simply envious of someone who's had this much luck in his life?
Yes, I know he's worked tirelessly to get where he is, but I also had to marvel at the astounding amount of good fortune that's been heaped upon him. Here was this extraordinarily handsome man in the prime of his life, who not only is enjoying a critically acclaimed trifecta in his career, but who's also happily married and has three robustly healthy children.
When he spoke of his decision to no longer do romantic comedies, he said he talked it over with his wife, as they'd have to brace themselves for a few years of him either not working or doing much smaller roles as he began the process of rebranding himself.
I thought to myself...what's it like to have that be the biggest problem in your life? As he spoke, it was clearly evident that he had no doubt that his plan would work, which was incredible in and of itself, as who deals with decisions even close to that? "Honey, we're going to live on my millions for the next two years during this transition of me becoming a more serious dramatic actor, which I fully expect will happen. Is that okay with you?"
When people live with such extraordinary luck, I suppose there's no reason to believe that it won't continue. He sports that slightly cocky confidence because this is what he knows in life; it's the hand he's been dealt. While he was somewhat irritating to watch, I can't hold his confidence against him, as he's no more responsible for his streak of luck than I am for living a life fraught with so many mean twists of fate.
I suppose at the end of the day, it's what we do with these respective hands we've been dealt that matters, as trite as that may sound. Yes, I was slightly annoyed with him this morning, but I also can't wait to watch tonight's episode of True Detective, nor can I wait to see his films. The guy is gifted, and I respect this decision to take this more serious turn in his career. In fact, I wish he'd done it sooner.
But I'm also feeling a slight malaise, as well, as so much effort can go into just getting through my day. On a good one, when the pain isn't as bad, I can flex my creativity, too, and ponder which new roads to take. But the bottom line, I think, is that sometimes I'm just profoundly struck by envy. It doesn't happen often, luckily, but there are moments when it comes into high relief just how much time and energy are devoured by the simple act of enduring. I cry easily on days like this, sometimes hard, which purges things, at least for awhile.
I certainly don't wish Matthew McConaughey's life was any harder, as his gifts are gifts to us all. I just wish mine was easier.